i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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