i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
