my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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