Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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