the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize