best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
