Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
