I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Life is so much better after having sex.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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