We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
