Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
