Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
