Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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