dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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