I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
