Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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