TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize