dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize