god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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