this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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