kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
