is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
