After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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