you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
