fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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