are you so shy because you have an std?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So squirting runs in the family.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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