You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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