I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
