haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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