hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
