omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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