Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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