careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
