Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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