I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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