Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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