Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
