theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I woke up under a house in Key West
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