why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
