hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
