Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
