"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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