I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I am available for nakedness
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