There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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