At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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