I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
