when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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