ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize