if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
