Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
