Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
