North Korea, Best Korea!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
