I think i peed on brittanys purse
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She's the barista slut.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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