apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
