Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
