I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
