is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Drake has all the answers
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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