morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
