you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
