I want to stick my p in your. b.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize