Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
