no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
