So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize