do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
