alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
